Nerd alert

Warning: the following is considered a geeky post.

As the year draws to a close, sites like ign.com and magazines like Game Informer are using the holidays to promote all the new video game systems and the games that come with. Who really knows how much goes on behind closed doors? Do game developers pay extra $$$ to get a better review? We'd like to think not, but the truth is... (case in point Rod Blagojevich) people are jagoffs.

So before you begin swelling your nerdy brain on whether to purchase an Xbox 360, Wii, or PS3, remember… that these are the newest and most expensive VG products on the market. Of course, with the way our society works, we always want the newer-better-faster-cooler version. So through numerous marketing schemes and some slight brainwashing, every video game freak MUST have at least one of these systems.

While I admit I am just as taken in as the populous I mock, I am here to remind you that the video game world has come a long way.... and it didnt do so by cutting corners.

Before these new hot systems came out, there were Microsoft's xbox, the ps2, and the gamecube. All perfectly great systems, but the way the industry works, its only a matter of time before a "better/newer" system comes along.

I'm not going to give you a history lesson and name all the past gaming systems, what I am going to do is tell you DONT GIVE UP ON YOUR OLD SYSTEMS.

It makes so much sense to get an older system and play some of the classics!!! Right now everyone wants the new thing.... that makes the older ones SO MUCH CHEAPER. So many great games have been made in the past, why let them collect dust?

So in spirit of my ..... spirit..... I am going to list some of the top games created for Sony's PS2. Why PS2 you ask? I'm not going to bore you with the history lesson (though if you've read this far I underestimated you), but basically the PS2 (along with the xbox) took many games where they could not go before and opened the industry to unlimited potential.

So without further ado, I give you…

Dan Smerch's top 10* PS2 games of all time bitch
*(sequels integrated)

10. Bully
9. Ratchet and Clank: Up your arsenal
8. Gun
7. Devil May Cry (1 and 3)
6. God of War (1 and 2)
5. NBA Street Vol 2
4. SSX 3
3. Spider man 2
2. Prince of Persia
1. GTA 3/ GTA Vice City

10. Bully –

Not the only game of its Genre to make it on the list. Rockstar games has time and time again found ways to keep us addicted to their games. Some argue that Bully is simply Grand theft Auto, high school edition. While that may be true, that doesn't take away the fact at how well this game was made. Everything from the gameplay to the storyline, the music, the voice acting… all great. You really can easily lose yourself at Bullworth academy. You find yourself really wanting the main character, Jimmy Hopkins, to succeed. Hilarious dialogue keeps your interest going in the storyline as you emerge yourself in this virtual world. This game might be higher up on the list if it wasn’t so close to the Grand Theft Auto series of games that Rockstar has perfected. This is a good one, and that’s no “Bullworth”.


9. Ratchet and Clank: Up your arsenal-

Despite the very weak storyline, this game makes up for it in everything else. If you just want to blow the crap out of everything, this is a game for you. The first R&C's were decent, but the third one finally found its ground. The game is a little slow to start, but as it progresses and the more weapons you purchase, pretty soon you become a one man army, blasting away at anything in your path. Its Fun.

8. Gun-

Another open world adventure. Unlike Bully and GTA though, this game was made by Activision, makers of the Tony Hawk series. It's basically GTA: Old west style. It has a great storyline and a decent number of side missions, including playing texas hold 'em. It’s pretty standard… do missions, make money, upgrade your guns. All very fun, very solid, balanced, well crafted game. My only complaint is the lack of extra side missions. Its very important to do the side missions in order to upgrade your gear, and thus making the main story missions less difficult. So if you complete all the side missions before the final boss battle, you literally have nothing to do afterward except ride around terrorizing towns. The worst part of this is if you DO complete everything, you unlock an armored horse that is used by one of the antagonists. As cool as this is… you realize that you have just unlocked everything, so really all you can do with the horse is spur the shit out of it and ride around aimlessly. Great game, too short.

7. Devil May Cry (1 and 3)-

Some may object to putting two games in one on a list, but lets be honest, they are almost the same game, 3 just has more upgrades. The reason 2 isn’t on here is for a number of reasons, but this is about one and three. When 2 tanked, Capcom realized what they had done and had Dante return to his roots. Thereby making him more cocky, more badass, and just all around ridiculous. Some of the craziest fighting sequences I have ever seen (and this includes all movies and games) come from these two games. Both Devil May Cry's are a good example of a game where the developers only worried about the important stuff. The menu and certain other aspects seem half-assed, but honestly… who gives a fuck. These games are about kicking major ass and looking cool while doing it. It's like a corny action flick, except the action is very good, and you control the ridiculousness of it all. DMC 1 and 3 are some of the most challenging games i have ever played, these games (along with Soul Calibur and Virtua fighter) often resulted in me slamming the controller to the ground, but i kept picking it back up. Upgrading to new moves and weapons keeps everything interesting, with storylines that unfold well, revealing more and more along the way. From the vast amount of moves to epic endings and final battles, its all worth it. Props.

6. God of War (1 and 2)-

Rewriting Greek Mythology never looked so awesome. The tales of Kratos are both extremely epic, with some of the most violent, out of control gameplay I have ever seen. Dante liked looking cool, smooth, and badass.... none of that matters to kratos. He just likes mutilating the shit out of whoever crosses his path. Death and destruction are Kratos's only solution to everything... and it is freakin sweet. The storyline is very good, and good puzzles along the way with some of the craziest bloody moves combine to make a very entertaining game. Though number two is proof that if it aint broke dont fix it, (it has almost literally the same gameplay), with a few tweaks and new magic abilities. Some complain that the developers are changing Greek Mythology by killing gods and goddesses who were never meant to "die", but honestly… i dont care. This game is sweet. You will see Kratos do things with two blades that you have never seen before (or will see, for that matter). With the cliffhanger ending to number 2, its safe to say we can't wait for Kratos's 3rd bloody battle.

5. NBA Street Vol 2-

A bit astray of the usual type of games I enjoy, you will most likely never see me play any sports game, except for this one. Obviously, this isnt your typical sports game. Some crazy balla moves can be pulled off here. The first one was decent, and the third one lost its appeal a bit. But Vol 2 is just the right balance of uh huh yeaaaa fooool not in my house, complete with a retro style 70's feel. Creating a balla and playing the current greats (at the time) Shaq and Kobe, to playing some NBA legends like Dominique Wilkinds, "Pistol" Pete Maravich, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Michael Jordan, Michael Jordan, and Michael Jordan. Yes you read correctly, theres the Jordan from the Wizards, the 1996 Chicago Bulls Jordan, and the 1985 rookie Jordan. Its three on three basketball in this game, so a whole team of Jordan's can be done. It's a bit annoying that you can goal-tend in this game, but with the amount of tricks and variations of dunks you can do, you'll find yourself asking..."Pfff.... what the hell is a 'jump shot?'".

4. SSX 3-

An open snowboarding world, so to speak, SSX 3 is one hell of a ride. Great courses combined with insane maneuvers and tricks make for a supremely entertaining boarding game you wont want to put down. You will soon find your self replaying courses to learn the "secret" routes. Upgrading your character so you can soon pull off some crazy, super extreme tricks is great. Along with making your playlist to ride to and upgrading stats and tricks, you can also buy numerous outfits and accessories, stylin your boarder to what you see fit. The amount of airtime in this game allows you to (literally) strap off your board, treat in like a pommel horse, flip around it a few times, rest on your side for a bit, then strap in and land. Extreme is a mild word for this one.

3. Spider man 2-

One of my favorite things to do when im just hanging out by myself is to get high and play this game. I end up not really going anywhere, because in this game, you don’t need to. I just swing and swing and swing. The engine made for this game is incredible. With the amount of moves and aerial maneuvers you can do, this game is endless fun. The storyline isn’t that great and the way to do side missions is pretty lame (you acknowledge a citizen in distress and they give you something to do) but its easy to look past because the gameplay is just too damn fun. I will never tire of this game.

2. Prince of Persia-

Almost number 1, the only reasons being that it wasn't hugely innovative and there was a slight lacking of versatility in the combat department. Not that I'm suggesting by any means that this game was not innovative or had a weak combat system. The design of the levels, the perfectly well placed camera angles, the music, the way you move through the levels. The greatest part is appreciating the art design while using the Prince's acrobatics to maneuver your way through the Palace of Azad. Sometimes you need to use your puzzle solving skills to get through an area, sometimes you're just slowly maneuvering your way through a beautiful scene... knowing which steps you are going to take and appreciating the fluidity of it all. My passion for this game is great, and I feel it is one of the more underrated games in history. This game just brings a great feel with it. The second (Warrior Within) and third (the two thrones) are good as well (and they greatly improved the combat portion I criticized earlier), but they never quite captured the magic of the first. Here’s to the Prince.

1. GTA 3/ GTA Vice City- What can be said about these games that havent been said already. Even my Dad was impressed by the open-ended world, choosing whatever you wanted to do, whether its beat up police or bang a hooker. The storylines are nothing to frown at, but the sheer volumes of these games are just incredible. So much fun stuff to do, so little time. Its common today that games incorperate the open-ended aspect, but GTA 3 was on of the first real good ones. Vice City improved on perfection, and still is fun to play even with all the new games coming out. San Andreas was good, but it lost the quick moving aspect that i so liked about these two, and ever since San Andreas the GTA's have felt slow to me. Nevertheless, these games will go down in history, and will always be fun.

You read all of it? Awesome, I'm your biggest fan.

Agree with me? Disagree? Let me know!

Lookout later this week for honorable mentions that didn’t make the list.

Cherch of Smerch enlighenment #2: Be true to others and true to yourself, because non-truths just lead to false friendships and false understandings.

This week in your Smerch St. News

Two songs recorded three in the works, One of the tracks that is in the works titled "Fight to See" will hopefully have a featured artist, the (muthafuckin) BLB. Mr. John Hazen said he is all for it and will see how things go when he gets back to the midwest. Although J Forest is on the other side of the world, he still seemed enthusiastic. Keep on the lookout for more Cherch of Smerch originals and covers.

A most successful party thrown by the elder Smerch's was held this past Saturday, which was easily the rowdiest party thrown in a long time. It was he first time in my lifetime I witnessed my father puking from drinking too much. Fuck yeah.

And now weather,

its still cold outside and I fucking hate it.

And now sports

Bears finally squeeze out a win after a rough couple of weeks. They still have to win the next three games in order to place for the post-season, our prayers are with them.

This just in!-
-- It has been confirmed that instead of the normal White Sox season taking place at U.S. Cellular field, numerous reinactments of the Cubs losing will be performed during all the regularly scheduled games ....because clearly...

...that's all that Sox fans care about.

First post: woohoo.

Ever get that feeling when you just want every stupid person alive to stop talking? Yup. I'm tired of it too. Your mouth is for (amongst other things) talking, not a constant flow of shit that no one wants to have anything to do with. Your mouth is a filter, not a funnel. Deal with it.

Just when i think im getting used to it, someone with and even BIGGER funnel with an even SMALLER brain comes along. Working at Lifetime fitness hasn't exactly helped my odds. When i work at the rock climbing wall there is a lot of downtime, which usually consists of conversing whatever R rated topic my co-workers and I can come up with. Some kids who (for obvious reasons) have no friends have figured out that we basically get paid to socialize, and they want in. So we have to be friendly to these bagels because 1. We are already getting paid to do nothing 2. Telling them to go away is laughable 3. If we actually hurt them we are canned.

Honestly I probably really could do something about it if I wanted to, but it would take massive amounts of scheming, which i dont have the desire or the drive to do.

Cherch of Smerch enlightenment #1: Think often and speak rarely. For when less words are spoken, the greater the impact they have.